Even worse

The sweets are sweeter because work is so sour, but man are things bad right now. I am extremely down about my coworkers. Even the nicer ones have been extremely insulting towards me lately. I had sought to just avoid talking to coworkers, but not only is that difficult for me (I'm quite social), but it seemed like an immature reaction.


So instead I am going through that horrid process I went through in middle school. I'm destroying my ego to destroy my expectations. I thought I could be friends with anyone, find dates, form a good life. I thought with enough work and effort I'd just solve all problems and find an ideal life. It had been relatively true for the last 10 years or so. But it's not true about dating and it's not true about getting along with these coworkers. So I shall instead become self-deprecating. I shall spend my time in depression convincing myself that I'm a "fucking idiot" as I was called today at work. That I'm "weird" and that people don't like me. Finding no solution to fixing the problems I'll pound acceptance of the situation into myself.

I wonder how long this will take. It will not be pleasant.