Embarrassment
Flirting embarrasses me. I was told I came on too strong at the pool party yesterday. I was not told by the person I flirted with luckily, but still, it brings up strong feelings of embarrassment. Somehow it's related to a fear of rejection I bet. Flirting is a difficult thing for me to do.
More fun parties this weekend. Friday I spent my time at home getting over the week, then went out and had a blast Saturday. I'm reading Chuck's newest book Snuff. Good stuff. I need to apply to more jobs. I have the paperwork for the move. Time to start packing. And I owe some old taxes I forgot to pay so I'm going to have to dip into savings and hope that check isn't cashed before I get more money into my account.
I read the last blog and remember how I'll feel in a couple days. How sad. Because once again I'm in a great mood and it's been a great weekend. But it won't last.
That's about it for my update. That's all that's new with me. Happy Fourth of July everyone. I hope you had a good holiday and that you remember the great things about America rather than some of our more tragic recent events. Think about how we forced legitimate trials onto war criminals over Europe's desire to skip them in our fight for human rights after WWII. Don't remember instead how we're torturing people and denying those same rights now. We are a nation with incredible foundations even if we are straying from them a bit in more recent times.
More fun parties this weekend. Friday I spent my time at home getting over the week, then went out and had a blast Saturday. I'm reading Chuck's newest book Snuff. Good stuff. I need to apply to more jobs. I have the paperwork for the move. Time to start packing. And I owe some old taxes I forgot to pay so I'm going to have to dip into savings and hope that check isn't cashed before I get more money into my account.
I read the last blog and remember how I'll feel in a couple days. How sad. Because once again I'm in a great mood and it's been a great weekend. But it won't last.
That's about it for my update. That's all that's new with me. Happy Fourth of July everyone. I hope you had a good holiday and that you remember the great things about America rather than some of our more tragic recent events. Think about how we forced legitimate trials onto war criminals over Europe's desire to skip them in our fight for human rights after WWII. Don't remember instead how we're torturing people and denying those same rights now. We are a nation with incredible foundations even if we are straying from them a bit in more recent times.
posted by MarkJD at
2:20 PM
3 Comments:
I'm not happy about your recent mood alteration, the bad one that is. Though I'm glad you're in a better one after the long weekend.
I don't know that belittling yourself due to others perceptions of you will really do anything. Think of the goal: Becoming more social and communicative in a positive fashion. I don't believe self loathing will get you closer to that goal.
Flirting these days really isn't an art. And for you to put emphasis on it like its make or break is a shame. I know you're not a girl, but flirting is a lot like wearing makeup; you have to act like you're not doing it.
I've gotten much further by just being myself, and NOT acting flirtacious. Act like you might "not" be interested, I'm not saying to say something like "Hey you ugly wench, come over here so I can talk to you, but I don't want you because you're gross." But just speak to them in normal conversation. Do this with a bunch of people, that way you're not overly upset when one doesn't bite. I gurantee if you have a regular, no-stress, no intentions-apparent conversation with 10 females, you'll have 6 of them interested enough in another conversaton, 4 from there interested in going "out", 2 interested in going out AGAIN, and maybe both of them interested in moving forward.
No intention conversations with females. Do it.
By
Katie, At
Monday, July 07, 2008
I think the self-loathing part was more about tempering my expectations because I was not meeting the goal of being more social and communicative. Given the failure for so long after trying so much the idea of lowering expectation seems more a solution than just "try more of the same."
On the same note I have tried the "just talking" normally thing for the past year. While I'm sure that can work well as a female because men are initiating the interest, I can only tell you that it's failed miserably for me for the past year.
Maybe you can tell me how I know if someone is interested or not? I'd like to be more subtle, but don't think that anyone was EVER interested back over the last year. I thought it was possible that just talking normally expresses no romantic interest and women are too timid to do it themselves so I just remain single.
By
MarkJD, At
Monday, July 07, 2008
Relax, you're alot cooler than you think you are. Your friend Katie is right, be yourself, people respond to that. Send out positive energy and you will receive positivity in return...or something like that. :)
By
Jamie, At
Saturday, July 26, 2008
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