Damn

Well I've been pretty down lately. I'm glad I'm in Austin because I tend to stay busy and have things to do to distract myself, but work is horrible because I'm surrounded by people who are friends with each other but dislike me. Also, I have no dating/romantic life. It's been almost a year since I've even kissed a girl. Ridiculous.

That's all, just gonna point that out. Not many read this and the solution is for me to read and comment more on other people's blogs, but I don't have time lately. Maybe soon.

Exercise

I hadn't been going to the gym for a long time now and my AustinSSC sports have all ended, so I took some time to get some exercise this week.

I got tired of this auto-playing so I'm just leaving the link here now:
http://www.whoisthemonkey.com/videos/incrediblemartialartsplussoccer.wmv

I signed up for a dodgeball team, an indoor soccer team, and I played my usual volleyball Thursday night, then worked out hard yesterday, and mountain biked the Green Belt today. I am exhausted and those things kicked my ass, but I look forward to soccer Monday.


Eric Hutchinson plays Monday, trivia night at Flying Saucer Tuesday, and I hope to see Bob Schneider play the following Monday. I don't think I appreciate this single lifestyle enough. I feel like everyone else is out doing things without me and I'm missing out even though I may go out more than most.

More Dreams

I'll start by noting that my job offer was rescinded because I went to Flipside. Pretty messed up. The accusation was not that I did anything wrong myself, but that because it's possible that the public would see that as an inappropriate event I used bad judgment in going.


The news is good to me on a few fronts. It makes me feel better about finding a new job because I was right that there are still people seeking to get me into trouble. I am pretty certain somehow the girl or girls that don't like me went to the director of my department and said "this looks like a drug-filled orgy." Then the director told my supervisor AND my future boss and they had a meeting with me. I said that they had a wrong perception about the event and asked why they thought it was "a drug-filled orgy." Their words. They pointed to the website which didn't seem to say that at all.

A few days later the offer was rescinded. I still have my current job at least and I can now apply to much better jobs than that one or the one I have. Yesterday I applied to the AG's office. I'm very excited about some of the new job potentials. They would pay better and actually let me progress and stay there. My DPS job doesn't have promotions or encourage people to stay.


Okay, on to the dreams. Much shorter ones since, but I've remembered two more. This is significant. I almost never remember dreams. I made out with the two other crushes I've had in the last year or two. I don't remember other parts of the dreams now, but the first had me make out with a girl I dated in Dallas (not Andrea) and the second my most recent crush. More of me seeking the people that don't return my interests. People I failed to attract. Hmm.

A new dating theory

Yes, I go back and forth a lot meaning maybe I'm overreacting, but I do so because I don't really have a good clue as to why I can't get dates or have women interested in me.

So I have swung from the idea that I'm too shy and timid to the opposite theory. It was suggested to me last night that women know when a man is interested in them. Does anyone agree or disagree with this idea? It was said that if she's not returning the interest, then the guy is probably just coming off as creepy if he pursues thinking she doesn't know of his interest.


It struck a cord with me because I have heard a lot recently that I give bad first impressions. Does anyone have an opinion on that? I have heard that I come off as gay, creepy, and arrogant. I should look into this more. Maybe instead of being too shy and timid I am too personal and don't have the normal boundaries of other people. Still, it seems so counterintuitive to be less forward and get more interest. Maybe I'll try it out though.