Emotions

So the point of this blog was to move past the "whiny" emotional outpourings in part, but now it seems like the point of this blog should be the place to come vent all that where none of my friends will see it. I can just quit blogging that stuff on MySpace and everybaby will be none the wiser, heh.

I have been up and down in my mood a LOT lately. Normally I'm just a steady happy, but lately I've been all over the place with real lows. That is exceptionally rare for me. It could all just be because I have a crush on someone, but I pretty much know the feelings aren't returned so they are just another friend like everyone else. Yet a part of me hasn't dashed all hopes so the emotions rage as if there were something there. I went through this with feelings for someone around Xmas too. Crushes are weird. Just feeling this way makes me feel like I'm in middle school.

In all other elements of my life I have so much control, but this is hard to deal with. I think drinking caffeine again to get that energetic high and finding a good book to read will help. I've also spent lots of time with Rick who seems to have a ton in common with me and is great fun. I'm excited about moving in with Stavana and Robbie in a few months too.

So it's so hard to just be open about everything that I don't want everyone to know on this blog when this is the public blog. Anybaby could find it except nobaby knows it exists.

I should give either ball up and get shot down so that I can remove all these feelings or just give up on that sliver of hope that makes me so dramatic about this. Actually, the solution I have sought is the same I've sought for months. I should go learn to hit on strangers and get dates so that I can crush on someone who returns my interest.


But for now I'll drink my martini and read Pratchett. He is a very funny writer.