Charting a New Journey

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Bringin' me down


So after the work drama about a month ago I applied to another DPS position. I wish I'd looked for a step up in my career, but instead I went for the easy lateral move within the same company. I am somewhat scared of leaving this social atmosphere of young attorneys like me, but I don't regret leaving a job where a couple coworkers want me fired.

So I was kind of down about this offer for the new job, but I feel better about it today because work has depressed me lately. Besides the two coworkers that want me fired, the others are at best neutral towards me. One has been complaining about my attitude a lot lately (she says I seem down and it annoys her) while the rest seem okay, but hang out with each other constantly outside of work and manage to exclude me.

I find it difficult to be surrounded by people who are friends but keep me outside of that circle. I don't like to constantly be the outsider. I don't know what it is about me that makes them dislike me, but I wish I knew. I think part of it is just that I'm the only male and most of them are married. There's some weird separation between married and single people. I don't know why, but I don't really hang out with any married people and after talking to coworkers it seems that they don't have any single friends. Anyone have ideas about why this happens?

So maybe this change is good. I won't have to go to work where everyone is happy and festive and I am excluded from their clique. They're all at lunch together right now. I didn't even know about that, but I was just asked why I'm here and not with them by the boss while I type this. I had not heard they had a plan.

I'm ready for a change, but I hate to just give up on a situation and not know what I did wrong. I imagine that whatever makes them dislike me could be what makes me unable to get a date.

posted by MarkJD at 7:18 AM

2 Comments:

  • So there's 2 things here; Why Coworkers don't like you. and Why you can't find a date. Could they be affiliated...maybe.

    I think the co-worker who has been complaining about your attitude pretty much gave you the answer. You are wearing your feelings on your sleeve. She says she feels you're down; you are down, so its obvious. It's difficult NOT to show your emotions at work. Even if you are being emotionless, apparently, this is enough for them to know that you're down.

    Since I work in an office full of people, and I tend to hate more people than I actually like, I kind of thought about why that is. If the person comes off and snotty, rude, arrogant, or they smell, I tend not to like them, and its human nature not to associate with those we don't like.

    Maybe you're unintentionally coming across as one of those things, or something else. Have you thought about talking to them, or your boss, with the idea of "Hey, I feel a negative vibe from some of the coworkers, and I want to be seen in a good light by my colleagues. Have they mentioned anything to you?", or as I said, maybe the best would be to go to the source.

    On a romantic level, if you are exhibiting a negative vibe, then that will turn females away, though the romantic end just might be the lack of decent females around you...I'm not sure.

    By Blogger Katie, At Saturday, May 03, 2008  

  • Thanks. I don't think I come off negative or sad on the weekends or at home, it's mostly just a work thing bringing me down lately. Still, I think you're probably right about the rest of that. I do come off as arrogant sometimes and I've been working on why and how to change it.

    By Blogger MarkJD, At Sunday, May 04, 2008  

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